How to protect your parents from elder financial abuse and fraud

Everyone thinks elder financial abuse could never happen to their family—until it does. Just look at Alfred Mancinelli. The 79-year-old gave almost $1 million in retirement savings to various con-artists, including one posing as a professional wrestler named Alexis Bliss. Convinced he was in a romantic relationship with Ms. Bliss, Mancinelli refused to listen to his children’s concerns. Instead, the retired man sued his own son for trying to intervene.  

Scams like this are on the rise, as online tools and AI make fraudsters more sophisticated and harder to detect. If you’re a GenXer who worries about your aging parents getting taken advantage of, this is for you. 

What is elder financial abuse?

Elder financial abuse is when someone takes, misuses, or exploits an older adult’s financial resources for their own gain. For example, friends, family, professionals, or caregivers may take an elderly person’s money or property without permission, overcharge for services, fail to repay debts, or neglect agreed-upon work. 

In situations like Alfred Mancinelli’s, strangers will prey on emotions. Scammers may pose as a trusted friend or fabricate romantic connections to gain access to an elderly person’s finances. 

In severe cases, elder financial abuse may even involve intimidation. Imagine a caregiver withholding care. Or a family member threatening to send the person to a nursing home unless they sign over financial assets. 

The rising risk for older adults

Pre-pandemic estimates suggested about one in 10 Americans aged 60+ had experienced some form of elder abuse. During the COVID-19 pandemic, that number increased to one in five.

Elder financial abuse alone causes an estimated $28.3 billion in losses each year. The real impact is likely much higher, however—one study indicates only 1 in 24 cases are reported to the authorities. 

Older adults are at higher risk of mistreatment, including physical, sexual, and emotional abuse, neglect, and financial fraud. Factors like social isolation and mental decline—such as dementia or Alzheimer’s—make them even more vulnerable. Other common targets include recently widowed seniors whose spouses had managed the finances.

Elder financial abuse can have both life-altering and deeply personal consequences. Victims may struggle to cover essential living and healthcare expenses, or lose savings intended for their grandchildren’s college fund. Not to mention, the terrible feeling that comes with learning you’ve been duped.  

Common types of elder financial abuse

Understanding the different forms of elder financial abuse is the first step to combating it. Here’s what you and your parents should look out for:

Online and telemarketing scams

• Unsolicited phone calls pressuring seniors to make purchases or “investments”.
• Phishing attempts, fake websites, and other online fraud schemes (political donation scams were big this election season).
• False promises of lottery or sweepstakes winnings in exchange for fees or personal information.
• Fraudsters building fake romantic relationships and then asking repeatedly for money. 

Caregiver fraud

Caregiver fraud is a growing concern as more older adults rely on professional care—whether at home, in a nursing home, or in a long-term care facility. Common types of caregiver fraud include:

• Using stolen personal information to open accounts or make purchases in your parent’s name.
• Stealing cash, jewelry, or other possessions from their home or personal space.
• Unauthorized use of credit cards or bank accounts.
• Pressuring them to make financial decisions against their interests.

Caregivers may also attempt to isolate seniors from family members or manipulate them into granting power of attorney.

Exploitation by trusted individuals

Sadly, exploitation often comes from those closest to the individual. This could be a child, cousin, niece, nephew, or other family member who tries to misuse power of attorney, access accounts without permission, or manipulate your parent(s) into changing wills or transferring assets. Friends or neighbors may also “borrow” money with no intention to repay.

Spotting the signs of financial fraud

Given that fraud is so underreported, you have an important role in helping your aging parents avoid financial abuse. Be vigilant for potential warning signs such as:

• Unexplained or unusual withdrawals, spending, or transfers
• Missing belongings
• Sudden changes in financial arrangements or estate planning documents
• New “friends” or romantic interests, especially if they show excessive interest in your parent’s finances
• Unpaid bills despite adequate income

You should also look out for behavioral changes in your aging parents that may indicate stress or fear related to abuse.

Here’s what you can do to prevent elder financial abuse

Discussing finances with your parents may feel challenging, but it’s a crucial step for their protection. Approach these steps as a way to support and protect your parents so they feel empowered, not intruded upon. You may not need to do all of these, but understanding the tools available to you goes a long way. 

Take an active role in their finances

Start by encouraging your parent(s) to list you as a trusted contact on their investment accounts. This way, the financial firm will alert you if anything suspicious comes up. With your parent’s consent, you can also become an authorized agent. This lets you monitor their investments and make trades, but you won’t be able to withdraw or transfer funds.

Another step is to consider setting up joint accounts or gaining account oversight. Many financial apps allow limited access so you can spot any unusual transactions without overstepping. Finally, think about setting up automatic payments for regular bills to reduce the risk of missed payments or fraud.

Consider legal safeguards

With financial power of attorney (POA), your parents can authorize you to make financial decisions on their behalf. If you go this route, make sure to specify the powers granted and the conditions, making sure they reflect your parents’ wishes. 

Regularly reviewing wills, trusts, and other legal documents is crucial, especially after major life events. Look out for any changes that seem counter to what your parents have expressed.

You might also consider setting up a durable power of attorney to maintain financial oversight if your parents become incapacitated. Adding a trusted co-signer or requiring extra reviews for significant transactions can help reduce the risk of financial abuse.

Choose caregivers thoughtfully

Be diligent when selecting and vetting caregivers. Start with thorough background checks and hire through reputable agencies that offer accountability and tracking.

Build trust with caregivers while maintaining clear boundaries. Regularly check in to discuss your parent’s behavior and progress (and get a sense of the caregiver’s style and bedside manner). Consider popping by unannounced to get a more honest view of the caregiver’s interactions with your parent(s).

Finally, protect valuable items, cash, and credit cards by creating an inventory and locking up smaller valuables.

Build a support system

To protect them from social isolation and risk of financial harm, surround your parents with a strong support network. Having “extra eyes” on the situation will help you spot red flags before any damage is done.

Make talking about money and staying connected a normal part of family life. Hold regular family meetings to discuss finances, or share helpful links in the family group chat. Do whatever it takes to help your loved ones recognize and avoid scams targeting seniors.

What to do if you suspect elder fraud

If you suspect elder financial abuse, report it to Adult Protective Services (APS). Elder financial abuse laws vary—the American Bar Association lists APS hotlines and other resources by state. 

The top resources for elder financial abuse in California are: 

• Adult Protective Service Agency: call (833) 401-0832 or visit the APS website for a list of county APS contacts.
• Attorney General’s Elder and Dependent Adult Abuse Hotline: (888) 436-3600
• Long-Term Care Ombudsman/CRISISline: (800) 231-4024
• Attorney General’s Bureau of Medi-Cal Fraud and Elder Abuse: (800) 722-0432

Even if you don’t have all of the details, you should still file a report. Include as much information as possible and plan to share what you have observed. If there’s an urgent risk of harm to your loved one or someone else, you should call 911 right away. 

Explore your legal options

Elder financial abuse laws exist to protect your loved ones. Consulting a lawyer can help you explore your legal options, with local civil legal services or private lawyers available to assist. 

In some states, victims of financial abuse can file civil court cases to recover stolen money, temporarily freeze bank accounts, or halt property transfers. Additionally, you may be able to request a restraining order or order of protection to prevent the perpetrator from contacting your loved one.

Discuss finances with your parents to protect them and plan ahead

Protect your parents by starting open conversations about their finances. Family get-togethers are a good time to talk through important financial matters. Many of our clients hold regular meetings, sometimes with a financial advisor present, to: 

• Share goals and plans
• Discuss fraud prevention strategies
• Clarify roles and responsibilities
• Make sure everyone knows where important documents are stored

A fiduciary financial advisor can guide discussions on topics such as eldercare, legacy planning, and financial stewardship, tailored to your family’s needs.

Even if you don’t meet with an advisor, consider organizing your own family money meeting. Staying involved in your parents’ financial affairs can help you quickly spot any issues. Some families find so much value in these conversations that they make them an annual tradition.